For the first time this weekend I really began to understand the powerful nature of what my friend and mentor Peter calls ‘commitments’. His assertion is that living within commitments is the only way to live. It is a powerful and necessary way of unleashing our creativity and making the impact we wish to see in the world.
Outside of a commitment we will always find barriers that stop us from doing what we want to do. Even something that is simple like taking out the trash is thwarted by barriers and obstacles – ‘Its too late’, ‘I’m too tired’, ‘The ginormous rats in the trash cans scare me!’, ‘The bag always breaks’, etc. However, living inside a commitment to ‘live in a clean household’ unleashes our inner creativity. If there is no way out of our commitment (because we have said it out loud to our roommate, or even just articulated it to ourselves) we will find a way – e.g. switch this chore with our roommate for cleaning the bathroom, buy extra strong garbage bags, etc.
Although taking out the trash is a simplistic example, making commitments can apply to every part of our life, and can help with articulating our true passions and purpose. Do this exercise which Peter gave me and was hugely valuable:
Imagine for a moment that there was nothing standing in your way to achieving what you want to do in your life. Forget all about the failures of your past (for as many great people have shown, this is no predictor of future success) and just dream about what you could do. Every time an obstacle pops into your head either ignore it, or if it keeps bothering you make a note of it to come back to later. Now write down these dreams (or perhaps just one dream) in the format of a commitment (see my examples in bold below).
What moves in you as you look at this commitment written down? Perhaps you realise you are not that committed to it. Or perhaps your heart sings with joy as you contemplate how wonderful it would be to live out that commitment every day. What creative ideas do you come up with for fulfilling your commitment that you never thought of before? Explore your commitments now and feel what the world looks like as you step into it – if it helps, pose the commitment as a question.
If nothing comes, don’t despair! We spend much of our adult lives censoring our thoughts and dreams because we tell ourselves they are “impossible” or “stupid”. It is a new practice to free ourselves from the shackles of fear in alignment with our creativity. Most importantly, enjoy the experience. Do this exercise once a week for a month. Be persistent and patient as you rediscover (or remember) what you are truly committed to in your life.
After two months of soul searching, here are just a couple of commitments I articulated this weekend about what I want to see happen in 2012 (try this in your personal life too -its really powerful):
Business: Am I committed to running my own successful business? (My commitment to this is at an amber right now. I am pretty certain, but I am not yet willing to stake my life on it. At the moment I am acting in alignment with the commitment to start a new business and I’m enjoying it!)
NOTE: Peter said that to test your commitment you need to watch yourself for the next few days/weeks, and see if your actions are in accordance with that commitment. If they are, then you may begin to realise that you do want to be fully committed. If not, then you should ask yourself whether you really are (or want to be) committed to this.
Purpose: Am I committed to empowering women and girls in Africa through education to see an end to extreme poverty? (The answer is ‘yes!’. I have a great desire to be committed to that. This was the greatest revelation of this weekend. I realised I had let the fear of failure stop me, and I had given up looking for a job in this sector because I told myself it was too hard as I kept getting rejections. But when I look back at my actions over the past two years, I realised that empowering women and girls through education was something that I was continually drawn to and loved, and that to some extent I was already acting in accordance with this commitment:
- In 2011 I ran a marathon to raise money for Camfed, even though I was not a runner and had never run more than a mile before
- I worked for Camfed for 6 months for low pay and it was the happiest I have ever been. In order to get that internship, I became incredibly creative and found ways to meet staff working there and get internal recommendations to get them to give me the unpaid internship!
- I wanted to work with my friend Megalyn with her non-profit for women and girls, before I was offered a different job.
- I talk about the power of women and girls education in Africa all the time.
- More broadly, it feeds into my passion for female empowerment, worthiness, self-esteem, body image…and leads into a commitment I also have to do whatever I can to help the women in my society live life to the fullest.
The next question of course is, how am I going to act in accordance with this commitment now?! Especially this last commitment, which I had all but thrown away. If getting a top non-profit to give me a job is not an option because of the current state of the economy, how can I live out this commitment now?
Feel free to share your ideas and thoughts, and what your own results of this exercise were. (One of my dreams and commitments was to write a weekly blog and this is my first post – so I hope you enjoy and I very much welcome feedback!)